1/01/2009

New Year's Resolutions

Photobucket I read this and thought it was just too good not to share...I am going to work on some of these, well maybe I will.


New Year's Resolutions for Horses


Dick, Williamsport, MD

I CAN walk and poop at the same time. I can, I can, I can.
I will NOT stop and poop or urinate every time I pass the same spot in the arena.
I will NOT leave when my rider falls off.
My stall is NOT my litter box. When I have free access to my paddock, I will NOT go back inside to pee.
I will NOT roll in streams or try to roll when my human is on my back.
I will NOT leap over large nonexistent obstacles when the whim strikes.
I will NOT walk faster on the way home than I did on the way out.
I promise NOT to swish my tail while my human is cleaning my back feet.
I promise also NOT to choose that particular time to answer nature's call.
I will NOT bite my farrier's butt just because it is there.
I will NOT confuse my human's blond hair for really soft hay.
I will NOT wipe green slime down the back of my human's white shirt.
I will NOT blow my nose on my human.
I will NOT try to mooch goodies off every human within a 1 mile radius.
I will NOT lay totally flat out in my stall with my eyes glazed over and my legs straight out and pretend I can't hear my human frantically screaming "Are you asleep?"
I will NOT chase the ponies into the electric fence to see if it is on.
I will promise NEVER to dump the wheelbarrow of manure over while a human is mucking my stall.
I will NOT grab my lead rope in my mouth and attempt to lead myself.
I will NOT have an attitude problem. I won't, I won't, I won't!
I will NOT pull my new shoes off the very next day just to prove that I can.
I am neither a beaver nor a carpenter. I promise I won't eat or remodel the barn or the new fences.
I WILL forgive my human for the very bad haircut, even though I look like a freak.
I accept that not every carrot is for me.
I will NOT do the Arab Teleport Trick when a bad/naughty/awful Horsasaurus Monster breathes at me.
I will NOT jump in the air and turn 180 degrees every time I see a bicycle.
I will understand that bicycles are NOT carnivorous.
I will NOT shy at familiar objects just for fun.
I will NOT bite the butt of the horse in front of me during the trail ride just to say "Hi".
I WILL put my ears forward and cooperate when it comes to photos.

Yep, other than the shoe thing (we go barefoot) these all sound like things that I need to do. Although I don't chase ponies into the electric fence, I chase the ranch minnies...sorry little guys.

I am hoping the DOR is working on her list too, I have some suggestions:

CJS's New Year's Resolutions for the DOR

I will brush my horse everyday
I will give my horses treats when they ask for them
I will feed them their favorite hay
I will not torture them with my "toys"
I will not make them wear tarps
I will not ask my horse to wake up from their nap
I will not separate them from their best friend
I will not make my horse wear silly costumes (such as antlers)
I will not ask my horse to wear an ugly saddle blanket or saddle
I will not embarrass my horse by falling off in an uncool manner
I will allow my horse to use my shirt as a hanky
I will tend to my horse's every need above my own
I will love Cactus Jack Splash the BESTEST!

I have a bunch more, but I want to be kind to the DOR

Have a wonderful New Year everyone!

Enjoy your day and don't forget to hug your DOR

8 comments:

Latigo Liz said...

{{{hugs}}}

One Red Horse said...

Happy New Year Jack and Syndi - OOPS, DOR! We are so glad for your presence in our lives. Thanks for your humor and compassion. Red, his mom, and that brat Lyra.

Florida Beach Basics said...

wow, some of those sound hard, especially that first one! just do the best you can with what you got, Cactus Jack.

wish your DOR and the critters a Happy New Year from Florida.

marge

fernvalley01 said...

Happy New Year Cactus Jack and DOR
May I suggest 1 more resolution?
Keep posting ! you are too much fun!

Powell River Books said...

Happy New Year and thanks for the laughs. - Margy

Jaya said...

Good luck on your resolutions for 2009. (Mine will be easy, since I didn't make any!) Happy New Year!

Rambling Woods said...

A Death In The Blogger World

A blogger friend lost her husband suddenly last Sunday night. I thought it would be nice to go and leave a message for her on her blog...You may know her as 'mommanator' at grannies ramblings

Victoria Cummings said...

Happy New Year, Jack - We love you just the way you are! Silk & Siete

 

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