New Year's Resolutions

I read this and thought it was just too good not to share...I am going to work on some of these, well maybe I will.


New Year's Resolutions for Horses


Dick, Williamsport, MD

I CAN walk and poop at the same time. I can, I can, I can.
I will NOT stop and poop or urinate every time I pass the same spot in the arena.
I will NOT leave when my rider falls off.
My stall is NOT my litter box. When I have free access to my paddock, I will NOT go back inside to pee.
I will NOT roll in streams or try to roll when my human is on my back.
I will NOT leap over large nonexistent obstacles when the whim strikes.
I will NOT walk faster on the way home than I did on the way out.
I promise NOT to swish my tail while my human is cleaning my back feet.
I promise also NOT to choose that particular time to answer nature's call.
I will NOT bite my farrier's butt just because it is there.
I will NOT confuse my human's blond hair for really soft hay.
I will NOT wipe green slime down the back of my human's white shirt.
I will NOT blow my nose on my human.
I will NOT try to mooch goodies off every human within a 1 mile radius.
I will NOT lay totally flat out in my stall with my eyes glazed over and my legs straight out and pretend I can't hear my human frantically screaming "Are you asleep?"
I will NOT chase the ponies into the electric fence to see if it is on.
I will promise NEVER to dump the wheelbarrow of manure over while a human is mucking my stall.
I will NOT grab my lead rope in my mouth and attempt to lead myself.
I will NOT have an attitude problem. I won't, I won't, I won't!
I will NOT pull my new shoes off the very next day just to prove that I can.
I am neither a beaver nor a carpenter. I promise I won't eat or remodel the barn or the new fences.
I WILL forgive my human for the very bad haircut, even though I look like a freak.
I accept that not every carrot is for me.
I will NOT do the Arab Teleport Trick when a bad/naughty/awful Horsasaurus Monster breathes at me.
I will NOT jump in the air and turn 180 degrees every time I see a bicycle.
I will understand that bicycles are NOT carnivorous.
I will NOT shy at familiar objects just for fun.
I will NOT bite the butt of the horse in front of me during the trail ride just to say "Hi".
I WILL put my ears forward and cooperate when it comes to photos.

Yep, other than the shoe thing (we go barefoot) these all sound like things that I need to do. Although I don't chase ponies into the electric fence, I chase the ranch minnies...sorry little guys.

I am hoping the DOR is working on her list too, I have some suggestions:

CJS's New Year's Resolutions for the DOR

I will brush my horse everyday
I will give my horses treats when they ask for them
I will feed them their favorite hay
I will not torture them with my "toys"
I will not make them wear tarps
I will not ask my horse to wake up from their nap
I will not separate them from their best friend
I will not make my horse wear silly costumes (such as antlers)
I will not ask my horse to wear an ugly saddle blanket or saddle
I will not embarrass my horse by falling off in an uncool manner
I will allow my horse to use my shirt as a hanky
I will tend to my horse's every need above my own
I will love Cactus Jack Splash the BESTEST!

I have a bunch more, but I want to be kind to the DOR

Have a wonderful New Year everyone!

Enjoy your day and don't forget to hug your DOR